By Wendy Jaffe, Esq.
I came across two great articles on marriage this week.
The first, which appeared in LA Weekly, is cleverly titled "How to Get Divorced by 30" by Sascha Rothchild.
The piece lists every possible red flag that twenty somethings rushing to the alter tend to ignore. And I would like to add one additional sure fire way to make sure that you are not divorced by thirty: don't get married before you are 30!
The second piece is by one of my favorite writers: Dan Neil. (To give you an idea of how obsessed I am with this writer, I read his weekly auto reviews in the LA Times Highway section, and I have ZERO interest in cars.) Yesterday (Sunday), he wrote a very personal piece about his failures and recent success with the institution of marriage for the LA Times Sunday Magazine. For any of you who have gone through difficult divorces and told anyone who would listen that you would NEVER get married again, his piece is a must read!
Hi Wendy,
I just wanted to say what great work I think you're doing. I also practice family law (part time), write and speak about relationships here in Toronto.
I think you're 100% correct about your top 9 reasons for divorce but I've personally noticed a 10th reason: Old fashioned selfishness. I find that often, there is one person in a divorcing couple who has insisted on having things their own way and won't compromise. Sometimes the self-centeredness even extends to the point of having an affair and refusing to give up the affair partner. Meanwhile, the other partner tries for counselling and makes great efforts to"save" the marriage. There's been much written in the media lately on how the Baby Boomers have created a new generation that's shall we say - a bit self-entitled! (And to be candid, I'm part of that generation and can see selfishness in myself and friends as we've been raised to pursue our happiness). I wonder how much of that plays into the new divorce statistics.
Anyway, congratulations on all your success! I look forward to reading more by you.
All the best,
Lisa Summers
Author
Men Are Like Mocha Lattes
Posted by: Lisa Summers | July 11, 2008 at 10:21 AM
I like your idea of not getting married before you are 30 because it will make sure that you are not divorced before 30. :)
Posted by: Marriage Records | March 16, 2010 at 10:42 PM