Divorce Lawyers' Guide to Staying Married

Hasselhoff Wins Custody, Even After Drunken Tape

By Ashley

David Hasselhoff won custody of his teenage children even after a tape was leaked that showed him drunk and trying to eat a hamburger.  Although Hasselhoff is excited about getting custody of his kids, the actor still has some anger about the tape's release.  People Magazine quotes Hasselhoff:

A private moment like that in anyone's life should never be exploited like that, especially if your children are involved. That's when this thing happened – that's when I said: Nobody plays that card.

The tape emerged on the internet to much jeering just as Hasselhoff's years-long custody battle with Pamela Bach intensified.  After Friday's hearing Bach fired her attorney and hired Mark Vincent Kaplan who represented Brittney Spears earlier this year. 

In mid-August the couple will come back to court for another custody hearing.  Their divorce trial is set to begin October 1.  For now, Hasselhoff says that his kids are ready to put all this, including the tape, behind them.

Andy Rooney's Marriage Advice

By Wendy Jaffe, Esq.

Social commentator Andy Rooney wrote a great column this month about the state of marriage. His analysis of two causes of divorce was dead-on.

1. Unrealistic Expectations are a major cause of divorce: "The reason the divorce rate is so high, I think, is that couples are looking for some ideal life that doesn't exist for two people. It ought to be made clear to a man and woman about to get married that there are going to be problems...The idea that two people are going to always get along is unrealistic."
2. It is too easy to get married and too easy to get divorced: "...[W]e've got to stop taking divorce (and marriage) so lightly in our lives, in our literature and in our entertainment. It should probably be harder to get married and certainly harder to get divorced....Married people have a status of their own and it should come with an obligation of its own."

How can we make it harder to get married and harder to get divorced while making sure that people who should get divorced (abusers, dangerous addicts, etc) can get divorced?

Here are a couple of suggestions:

1. Change the minimum of age of marriage to 21: It amazes me that it is legal to get married at 18 (and in many states even younger with a parent's permission), but not legal to drink champagne at your wedding if you do. We know that teenage marriages almost never work out. Let's change the minimum age of marriage to 21.
2. Make pre-marriage education courses mandatory: Most (if not all) states won't issue driver's licenses without proof of attending a driving course and passing a written test. The same should be true of marriage licenses.
3. Make post-divorce education mandatory in states that award joint custody. If a couple doesn't have minor children together, the same divorce rules would apply. However, where there are minor children, post-divorce education concerning shared custody should be mandatory.

Why should we heed Andy's insights on marriage and divorce? According to Wikipedia he was married to his wife for 62 years before she died in 2004.

Young "Hills" Stars to Wed

by Ashley

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, both of MTV's "The Hills," are now engaged.  The 23-year old Pratt proposed to the 20-year old Montag on Tuesday at a Santa Barbara resort.  US Weekly reports that the couple's courtship, chronicled during "The Hills'" last season, was extremely controversial.  Montag and Pratt have only been dating 8 months, but a source told US Weekly that Montag was "over the moon."  Pratt proposed "on bended knee" with a diamond-encrusted platinum band with a pink stone. 

The couple's relationship has been dramatic, good fodder for reality TV.  Wikipedia reports that last season Montag got a negative reading on a home pregnancy test, but nevertheless told Pratt that she was pregnant.  He was supportive of the "hypothetical" pregnancy, but one wonders if the couple is mature enough to handle marriage.  Getting married early can significantly reduce the chances for a marriage to succeed.

The couple has not yet set a wedding date, and a representative for MTV said that the network does not comment on their stars' personal lives.

For Those Too Busy to Date, Matchmaking Makes a Comeback

by Ashley

Although you probably never have to buy your own drink, the life of a single celebrity is not all parties and dates.  The world of single A-listers gets smaller every year (Jen and Vince, Reese, K-Fed and Britney, etc.) which can give the world the impression that these people (celebrities are people too) are trapped in some kind of "dating round-robin."  However, the New York Times reports, some celebrities are now turning to high-end matchmakers to help them meet "civilians" outside show business.

According to one matchmaker, celebrity clients seek out the service "to discreetly introduce them to someone who is attractive, sane, duly impressed yet not star-struck."  All the matchmakers the Times interviewed sign confidentiality agreements, so they could not disclose the names of their clients.  Each hinted that tabloid regulars, big HBO stars, and "older" celebrities use or have used their services. 

One client explained that in Hollywood you meet beautiful women who are essentially airheads.  To meet someone outside the business, you've got to look in other places.  Female celebrities tend to look for "a man who is successful in his own right, especially an entrepreneur or “someone of power.”  Men, explained one A-List matchmaker, “are looking for someone who’s not a diva.”  Both men and women at this level of fame need to find someone comfortable with staying out of the limelight.  When you're hounded by photographers all day, begining to date can be doubly stressful.  A celebrity's "civilian" date needs to come to terms with the fantasy of dating a movie star versus the reality.  Most matchmakers say a desire for privacy is actually what drove their clients to use their services.

None of the matchmakers in the Times' article have set up a marriage yet, and their services don't come cheap-- over $20,000 for a year of service.

Christopher Cross Sails Away After 19 Years

By Wendy Jaffe, Esq.

Remember Christopher Cross? His hit songs Sailing Away and Arthur's Theme dominated the airwaves about 25 years ago. It was announced last week that he is getting divorced from his wife of 19 years and seeking custody of his two teenage children.

He acknowledges on his website that while people remember his big hits, the current reaction to his name is "Where'd he go?"

Of course, whenever a celebrity (or in this case, former celebrity) gets divorced, fans love to speculate on the whys.

Here is my theory on the Cross split. Drastic changes in one's success level are very difficult on marriages.  I interviewed one man for my book, who flew high during the 90s dot.com heyday and then lost nearly all his net worth when the Nasdaq crashed, who blamed his divorce on the fact that he emotionally couldn't handle what he perceived to be a reduction in his "status."

If Chris had divorced in the early 80s when he was at the top of the music heap, the news would have been everywhere. Today, it hardly registered. And that, I'm guessing, was the couple's problem all along.

Aniston and Pitt swapping Relationship Tips

by Ashley

Today's National Ledger reports that Jennifer Aniston is counseling her now ex-husband, Bard Pitt, on how to de-stress and ease his marital woes.  Rumor is that Pitt has called Aniston, via cell phone, multiple times in the past week or so, and that Aniston is obliging.  She is not, the Ledger is quick to point out, telling Pitt to leave his fiance Angelina Jolie, but is instead offering support, advice, and comfort.

A source close to Aniston says that Pitt romanticizes the couple's time together and that Aniston believes they will, at some point, reunite.  For now, the insider says, Aniston is trying to consul Pitt as a friend rather than a former spouse.

Baldwin Call Highlights Divorce Stress

by Ashley

The call is all over the internet.  Pundits, celebrity watchers, and parents everywhere want to share their opinions about Alec Baldwin, Kim Basinger, and their daughter Ireland.  Baldwin and Basinger married in 1993 and split in 2001 but are still involved in protracted legal disputes and custody battles.  The Los Angeles Times reports that last October Basinger was found in contempt of court for violating a custody agreement.  The couple had another custody hearing scheduled for May 4 of this year.

TMZ.com, which has the audio file of Baldwin's call, reported that Baldwin's spokesperson alleges the message was leaked against a standing court order.  Further, Baldwin apparently acknowledges that he should have used different language while parenting his child, but affirms (via his spokesperson) that Ireland is the most important person in his life.

Still, the message seems to hint at anger directed not towards Ireland, but towards Basinger.  Baldwin's spokesperson told TMZ.com that over the past six-years Basinger has done "everything she can to alienated Baldwin from Ireland."  For now, an LA Superior Court commissioner temporarily suspended Baldwin's visitation rights.  A hearing is set for May 4.  Basinger's lawyers did not comment for either the TMZ story or Los Angeles Times report.

From Hollywood to Bollywood: Cultural Differences Shape Weddings

by Ashley

Bollywood weddings are getting a lot of press these days.  Just last week Elizabeth Hurley and her new husband Arun Nayar tied the knot twice-- once in England and again in a Hindu ceremony in Mumbai.  The actress and software CEO raised more than a few eyebrows during the Indian celebration.  According to one accuser, the couple flaunted Hindu laws by drinking alcohol, wearing leather shoes, and kissing in front of the cameras.  According to a New Zealand gossip magazine, Stuff, the couple has been charged under section 295 A of the Indian Penal Code.  Hurley's new father-in-law, Vinod Nayar, has even agreed to testify against the couple.  If convicted, Hurley and Arun Nayar could face up to three years in prison.

A source close to Hurley said that she "went absolutely ballistic when she found out what Arun's family had been saying about her. As far as she is concerned she never wants to see Arun's father or stepmother again."  Vinod Nayar has publically disowned his son, complaining that he and his wife were treated like "second-class" citizens at the event.

Two Bollywood stars are also tying the knot in a lavish, and high profile, ceremony.  The BBC reports that 400 guards have been hired to keep prying eyes away from Aishwarya Rai, a former Miss World, and her fiance, fellow actor and rising star Abhishek Bachchan.  In addition to the guards, a temporary wooden structure has been built around the bungalow to obscure the view, and the families have asked neighbors whose upper floors have a view of the bungalow not to allow cameras or reporters in.

Although their wedding invitations were four pages long, and the bride will wear custom gowns, elaborate jewelry, and saris brought in from Varanasi, Hindu traditions are being observed.  The BBC explains:

The festivities will begin on Wednesday with the sangeet (music evening) at the Bachchan residence.

Thursday will be the henna night - when henna is applied to the bride's hands. That will reportedly be held at Ms Rai's residence in Bandra, with the henna being brought in from Rajasthan.

The couple got engaged in January.  The future Mrs. Bachchan said that she has always loved her soon to be husband.

Most Costly Celebrity Divorces

by Ashley

"Falling in love is free, but falling out of love can cost you" quips Forbes'.  Celebrity divorce is big business, not only for lawyers, but for tabloids, TV stations, and business managers.  Since many Hollywood marriages last less than a year (Drew Barrymore and Tom Green, Pam Anderson and Kid Rock, etc) who did what to whom is often less interesting (and important) than who gives what to whom.

Forbes' magazine catalogs the ten most expensive celebrity divorces, a list dominated by men paying to women.  The magazine speculates that this reflects the traditional economic dominance men have had in their partnerships, though that is changing, with stars like Brittney Spears and Janet Jackson forking over huge payouts.  Neil Diamond and Michael Jordan top the list, while the much publicized Mills-McCartney split only comes in at number 5.

Part of the reason the Jordan split, for example, is so costly is that the pair did not have a short marriage.  Jordan made most of his fortune during the 18 years the couple was together.  Unless there is a pre-nup, length of marriage usually affects the kind of settlement a wife gets.

Huge payouts to former spouses have not soured the rich and famous to marriage-- several members of the list (including Kevin Costner) have remarried.

Whtiney Houston Wins Custody

by Ashley

Whitney Houston, whose on-again-off-again marriage to Bobby Brown, recently won custody of the couple's teen daughter.  Houston told a California judged that Brown is an unreliable parent and could not be expected to care for their daughter.  The BBC reports that in February Brown was jailed for failure to pay $19,000 in child support to the mother of his children from a previous relationship.  He was released after paying the woman, and spent only a few days in jail.

Both Houston and Brown have gone through publicly embarrassing periods in the past few years: Brown has been in and out of jail, and Houston in rehab.  Last October Houston filed for divorce, citing "irreconcilable differences."  The judge in the case ruled their marriage would officially end on April 24.

The couple's split may be good news for, are you ready, Osama Bin Laden.  The New York Post reported last summer that the Al-Qaeda leader was "obsessed" with the singer and wanted to get rid of her husband...